her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
