Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
