I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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