i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
