either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just puked most of my soul out..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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