so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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