So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
