he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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