i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
