take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it's like iHOP with fire
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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