Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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