I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
