All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
