ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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