I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
