we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
