so that wasnt chicken after all
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
