first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
