I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
