Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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