I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
