I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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