nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
