tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
