I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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