I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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