When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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