Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
