And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
