so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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