your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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