When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
