My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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