I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
