is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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