I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
