Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
