I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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