She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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