I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have post one night stand depression
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
