This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
