when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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