i think my mom watched the whole time
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
