No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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