So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
