is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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