wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
