I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am available for nakedness
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize