You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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