What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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