No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize