We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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