You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
