Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
