butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize