I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
