Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
