I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
