why didn't you poke me back
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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