someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
