that's an acceptable place to lick
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
