Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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