Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
