sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
